Because we live in an age where most people celebrate a band getting their music used in a commercial, where becoming the backing sound of a new Toyota signals a huge leap forward for a career (and it does, and that’s good!), because this is Japan where this type of thing seems typical, where Perfume releases singles in support of fruity-tasting alcoholic beverages and Girls’ Generation are the voice of computer processor, because there is just enough irony and Marty Friedman here to get people giggling, because most people would just say “lighten up man!” as if I’m snarling at a starving third-world child and not an ad campaign thought up by one of the most nefarious companies on Earth, because it’s not as bad as the God-awful “Wanna Fanta” spots from a few years back…nobody is going to care about this, a fake band created to advertise Fanta soft drinks featuring actual musicians putting out an honest-to-goodness single. And really, nobody should…it’s not a big deal, yeah? Just marketing.
Still, part of me wants to just flip out over this and everything it stands for. Mostly because it is incredibly fucking stupid, and I shouldn’t even have to yell out rhetoric like “stop sucking the four-flavors-plus-seasonal-special teet” when this is so hateable already. Yet still…nobody blinks at this stuff anymore, even when it isn’t a young aspiring band trying to make it but a bunch of established folks earning another buck and the guitarist from Megadeath getting a chance to mug for the cameras. And honestly that isn’t right, because this blows and should be doused in hate or at least buckets of oh-so-gross grape flavored soda.