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Category Archives: J-Pop

Controlled Karaoke: EXILE Nominated For MTV Europe Music Awards, Still Not As Bad As Geordie Shore

[youtube=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6o8NbHSuYrQ”]

Confession – I really like Jersey Shore. I’ve been watching it since those loveable stereotypes popped up on MTV. Some say it signals the end of American society…well, to them I say, wouldn’t you want a front-row seat to the end of the Roman Empire? So when someone told me about Geordie Shore, the British equivalent of MTV’s STD-tastic reality show, I was intrigued. Terrible people…in England! Sign me up.

No. Geordie Shore managed to get the reactions so many people I knew were getting from Jersey Shore from me. THIS was an insufferable show. Why, I can’t explain in words beyond “ultimate shitheads, all of them,” but I feel that’s all I need. My opinion of England, Newcastle and MTV’s European branch all changed for the (much) worse.

Well, MTV Europe hasn’t outdone themselves, but they have drawn a little more ire by nominating J-Pop buffoons EXILE for the MTV Europe Music Awards’ “Worldwide Act Asia Pacific” category. Facing off against the likes of Big Bang and Jay Chou, they’ll try to win some pointless award from the people behind a really bad reality TV show (still love ya Jersey!). You can vote for whoever right here, and something tells me Sia will need all the clicks you can muster.

Station To Station: Music Station For September 16, 2011 Featuring AKB48, EXILE And Ayumi Hamasaki

Oh man, a jumbo-sized Music Station this week. Featuring all the heavy hitters. Buckle in folks.

AKB48 “Flying Get”

WATCH HERE

See the logo at the top of this page? That’s the new design/slogan for the “Cool Japan” campaign, the Japanese government’s attempt to spread soft power via culture. Basically, they want Japanese media, like anime and movies and whatever whatever, to spread everywhere. Remember “Cool Britannia?” Like that, but with more One Piece.

Musically, I’m not positive who the government will push…the logical answer would be the Cars-2-approved Perfume, the illogical answer being Arashi which is what I think they did…but it doesn’t matter, because AKB48 already owns that position, at least to some degree. This week, it was announced that Jakarta will be getting an AKB48 branch, called JKT48. This, coupled with official stores in Hong Kong, Singapore and Taiwan PLUS other potential imperialistic expansion (Taiwan? Italy?), makes them the most visible Japanese music outfit going today…at least in Asia.

“Flying Get”…almost as good English as “Japan Next”…pretty much sums up AKB48’s sound because all their songs sound the same. It’s pop as an afterthought, the image of the group coming first and whatever grating Chuck-E-Cheese leftovers they can cobble together second. Yet this sells, and may very well be Japan’s most known musical export around the continent. Hold me.

The saving grace, though, is this stuff doesn’t have a chance in the Western world. Save for the persistent rumors of an AKB48-like outfit in Italy, this sort of stuff always ends up the topic of “weird Japan” columns and Gizmodo posts about CGI members. Whereas K-Pop embraced a Western-leaning sound that could potentially grab ears on that side of the world, AKB48 stick to this very lame style that won’t make an impact in places where they think a Rock-Paper-Scissors tournament is stupid as hell. Los Angeles won’t be getting an AKB theater anytime soon, and thank goodness for that.

EXILE “Rising Sun”

[youtube=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rDGmAqv81U”]

“Rising Sun” will work as EXILE’s “charity single,” meaning all profits made will go to help out those affected by the Tohoku disaster. In theory, I should stop right their and give all of the group a nice pat on the back for doing a nice thing. You go, EXILE!

Of course, some charity should be scrutinized. James Hadfield of Time Out Tokyo pointed out how SMAP’s SMAP AID CD only netted relief efforts five percent of an individual album sale. So yeah, this could be a little less wonderful than we think.

But still, as Hadfield notes, the sympathetic view of this sort of move is that money is going somewhere helpful, even if it’s less than you’d think so EXILE probably still earn points. More points than this typical lukewarm R&B would. Ooops! Just go donate money to a real charity so EXILE don’t get any boosts, OK?

Koda Kumi “愛を止めないで”

[youtube=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHdJ_oDOHOY”]

We yuck-up on Koda Kumi a lot here…”damn girl, you looks like horny!”…but truth be told I’d have sexually idiotic Kumi ballerinaing around in an idiot daze than serious sappy ballad-spewing Kumi any day of the week. Usually she says something stupid. Here she just bores.

TVXQ “B.U.T (BE-AU-TY)”

[youtube=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqHgRDAVDPY”]

Lot of great details in this song, let’s do it:

1. What sounds like a tea kettle going bonkers during the verses.

2. The chorus. Everything about it.

3. But especially the way they pronounce words like “me?????” They sound like how I’d expect Marmaduke to talk…until Owen Wilson robbed me of that fantasy.

4. The underground Fight Club video huh?

5. How they add extra “T’s” to “B.U.T.” as if to spell a drawn-out “buttttttttt.”

Ayumi Hamasaki “Beloved”

[youtube=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxuUi4CQNXs”]

The second I heard those opening piano key twinkles, I knew where we were heading. “Oh boy…a ballad,” I thought, reaching for the Ume Chu-hi serving as my writing partner for this week’s edition. Against my better judgement, I sat through the whole thing, waiting to see if anything noteworthy would happen. Nothing did. Five minutes and 20 seconds of my life…gone, just like that, cruelly snatched by Ayumi Hamasaki’s especially bland mix of “emotion” wrapped up in some violins. At least I had a traveling partner for this week’s long trip down the road of make-it-stop-now-please.

Masaharu Fukuyama “家族になろうよ fighting pose”

[youtube=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3ZDRw2_Hpc”]

Can’t even work up any emotion about whatever this is. Sounds a little bit like Alphabeat’s “Fascination” minus all the fun.

Hey! Say! JUMP “Magic Power”

[youtube=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_rYxp8uKqI”]

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So…these guys think they can be the Jackson Five now, do they? The 12-year-old set that buys this stuff will eat it up because they don’t know any better, but this might be the most grating thing they’ve released yet and that’s saying quite a bit. They’ve always forced these big, terrible, server-at-Applebees-quality smiles to their music before but this is like so forced happy you want to punch them in the face to make that grin go away.

Winner Of The Week – None of these jabronis, that’s for sure. Instead, let’s tackle one more song, one of much higher quality but absent from Music Station this week…

Berryz Kōbō “Aa, Yoru ga Akeru”

[youtube=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAA8OpqXJew”]

The fine folks at The Singles Jukebox reviewed this and gave it pretty good marks, and I agree. It’s hyperactive pop that flirts with what those great Korean groups do but importantly holds onto some of the cheese that sorta defines J-Pop (check those electro strings). Still, this song also does a whole bunch that no other Japanese pop acts would touch without a big, long stick…check the brief but boogie-tastic keyboard solo late in the song, and just the general speed of the whole thing. This is way better than anything above, and probably the best J-Pop I’ve heard since that one YUKI song.

One concern though…The Singles Jukebox crew, not well-versed in J-Pop, seem to come off as thinking all of Japan’s pop sounds like this. No gang…scroll up, that’s the stuff clogging the airwaves.

Self-Promotion Plus: Writing About K-Pop In Japan For The Atlantic

[youtube=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8Wie3GKjy0″]

In which I finally get a big platform to share my love of Girls’ Generation…sorta. I wrote an article for The Atlantic online about K-Pop’s growth in Japan over the past year, which you can read here. It features a bunch of videos which you’ve probably seen around these parts since last August…though the T-ara clips (the Japanese one at the top of this page, for example) haven’t been shared here yet though both are…something and the closest you’ll get to a sociological study from music videos.

Station To Station: Music Station For September 9 Featuring SHINee, Mika Nakashima And Unicorn (Well, Not At All Really)

[youtube=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1griNPsY0U”]

Look at that puppy!!! Onto the music.

SHINee “JULIETTE”

[youtube=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lT-iBCuoNS4″]

I’ve slowly realized I never write anything positive about the K-Pop boy bands outside of a still-pretty-dismissive “better than KAT-TUN.” Whether because I still harbor deep-seeded hate for anything that even remotely reminds me of N’Sync and by extension elementary school, or because I’m a secret misogynist who just loves staring at Korean girl groups, I’m pretty sure I’ve never said anything positive about the Big Bangs and 2AMs crossing into Japan.

SHINee’s “JULIETTE” won’t be bucking that trend, but I have a few positive notes besides the slowly-fading “sounds Western.” The music on this song has a nice move to it, an imagining of what Walt Disney could have done to R&B in Tomorrowland. It’s catchy and…uhhhh better than KAT-TUN, for sure. OK back to the bad…this thing still oozes 90’s boy band swagger, the worst of pusses, and the verses hit like oh-so-many empty calories. Honestly, the best thing to come out of “JULIETTE” is this Korean video of them performing it to Girls’ Generation because it’s kinda awkward and embraces the Romeo And Juliet (NOTE THE SPELLING SHINee) to a goofy end.

[youtube=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHc93qTPjIs”]

Tsuyoshi Domoto “Nijiの詩”

[youtube=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vd4oNmd63yU”]

This, the short version of the new song from some guy from Johnny’s KinKi Kids, still manages to drag on for almost four minutes. Sure, about a minute of it is spent showing us the thrilling scenes of a guy diving into water…look, a boat!…yet that still leaves around three minutes for Tsuyoshi Domoto to subject the world to a generic brand ballad. There is about a second of well-thought-out music on this song, and that comes right at the beginning when the music tries aping whale noises. Immediately after, piano meets drawn-out singing meets some unmoving drumming meets forced drama. The only reason to sit through this is for the pretty under sea footage, and even that just ends up being kelp beds. The long version can stay wherever the hell it is as long as it wants.

Mika Nakashima “LOVE IS ECTASY”

WATCH HERE

Sounds like sub-par Kaela Kimura or even not-up-to-snuff Juju, though the chorus actually bites a My Chemical Romance song to some degree. This one’s way too easy pickings – the obligatory “look at me I’m rockin’ out!” song from an idol with so much on her schedule…she also acts and models among other yen-pulling activities…that this feels like an audition to be “hard” more than a real single. Be gone to the world of movies with you.

Flumpool “証”

[youtube=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJbM-egMipk”]

I’d be completely cool if every dumb J-Pop ballad released by dudes with acoustic guitars and major deals were boiled down into not-full videos like this one and the Domoto joint. Saves me several minutes of my life, before I inevitably beside to write something like “another dumb J-Pop ballad released by dudes with acoustic guitars and major deals.” Someone launch a cultural study why this bland junk sells so well, I’ll design the PowerPoint.

Porno Graffitti “ワンモアタイム”

[youtube=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWaYgsFAUJE”]

OK, screw this heap of “rock” from a band with a really stupid band name that could have been flipped into something nasty sounding (musically, I mean) but instead clings to lame J-Rock tropes injected with baby’s-first-dance-song production. Let’s talk about AKB and NMB48.

So in the past week, several members of the pop-SWAT teams were suspended from the team for various infractions. Their crimes? Having boyfriends. This remains one of the most insane parts of Japan’s “idol” culture, people being denied the chance to date other people because the image might not gel with the inane fantasies turning around inside some dweeb’s head. Remember when Perfume’s A-chan had to deny the whole dating a guy from ONE OK ROCK? This is probably the one aspect of the Japanese music industry…while, and the continued selling power of shit ballads…that completely baffles me. Such a weird game to play.

I don’t really have a point with this, but we sure didn’t have to talk about that lame song now did we?

Unicorn “レディオ体操”

[youtube=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kc2j-fEsovo”]

That’s clearly not Unicorn, but I can’t find their take on “Radio Exercises” and this popped up when and I was just tickled pink.

Winner Of The Week – Thom Yorke doing radio exercises. Seriously this week sucked big time, and the sooner we move on from it the better.

Controlled Karaoke: Che’Nelle Covers Moumoon, Headscratches Abound

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTAK7NO5hV0]

The above is a clip of a relatively recent song courtesy of Australian pop singer Che’Nelle? Listen to the whole thing here. Notice anything strange about it? Well, give it a second and if it still doesn’t click…

[youtube=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XfCBE365U0″]

Yep, Che’Nelle actually recorded a sunshine-jacked cover of Moumoon’s creepy 2010 single “Sunshine Girl.” I initially heard the Che’Nelle version while sitting in Osaka’s new Burger King, and when I focused on those lyrics something in my head said “uhhhhh, dude, put the chicken sandwich down, this sounds familiar.” And then that chorus…except in the hands of Che’Nelle (real name Cheryline Lim) all the bizarreness of Moumoon’s original gets whited out in favor of typical summer bubblegum. Not to say it’s devoid of charm…instead of awkward Lynchian English, Che’Nelle gives us the unintentional gutbuster “9 to the eight/I feel so great/7 to the 6/need my hair fixed/5 to the 4 whatcha waitin’ for/3 to the 2 to the 1/let’s go have fun!”

Switching gears a bit…how often do Western artists cover Japanese pop songs? And I don’t mean in a vaguely ironic Andrew W.K./Marty Friedman way…I mean straight-up seriously like what Che’Nelle does here. Plenty of J-Pop stars cover American tunes, but the other way around? Any examples? A Google search of “Western artists covering j-pop songs” just gives me Wiki pages about J-Pop and something ominously titled “K-Pop>J-Pop.”

Oh and Moumoon’s version really does kick the crap out Che’Nelle’s tarted-up take. The way she says “holiday” gets me everyday…and it sounds cool!