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Controlled Karaoke: Brace For Creep-Pact Thanks To アイドリング!!!


Let’s get one thing clear right away…the above song isn’t remotely good. It’s some borderline Up With People group therapy bullshit loaded with enough pep to power an aircraft carrier. Imagine AKB48. Now imagine the players in AKB48 replaced with the Lots-o-Huggin’ bear from Toy Story 3. Now imagine those bears exploding, and the noise expelled by their combusting bodies. You got this song, by a group whose name I’m not sure of (Idoling!?). The folks at Japanator – who I presume introduced the world to this video and are thus responsible for any attempts at making it viral – correctly point out how “It’s the usual 2nd rate J-pop with a video which reflects the collective Japanese illusion that the country has not been spiralling down the toilet pan for nearly 20 years.”

So why post it? Because it’s one of the straight-up creepiest videos I’ve seen all year. Not creepy like The Human Centipede but creepy like “I should probably register on some sort of database after this.” You’ve got voyeur-tastic Brady Bunch boxes, some cheerleading/school unis that wouldn’t fly at Sexpot High (eh, at least in Japan) and the weird heart-sparkle affect when the one girl falls in love with the other girl wearing a boy’s uniform. Really, the reason I post this is because it really does encapsulate everything about this mass-group fad currently peaking in Japan. Share in the terror with me.

Too negative, huh? Well, one cool thing…that little synth line that bubble up after the first chorus sounds pretty nifty.